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June 19
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Panasonic
DMC-TZ3 10/2500 second F/8.0 5 mm 100 Jun 11, 2009, 12:17:18 PM Share
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I knew instantly that he was a Nicaraguan insurance salesperson, so I had the edge on him, but I wasn't expecting his next move.
He pulled out an umbrella, a sharp umbrella, and cut my left hand off.
I was more surprised that he could fit an umbrella in his leotard than that I was bleeding out, all over the cold beige concrete.
Then I realized my left hand (my favorite, by the way) was missing, and it was being swept down the gutter.
Suddenly, a large coffee mug began to grow in it's place, and I proceeded to bu left hand insurance from the Nicaraguan bastard.
Halfway through my signature I realized that I had left the oven on, and I rushed with the salesman to my house, wishing for a miracle.
Bursting through the door, I found my wife on the floor, and the very same leotarded (no that there's anything wrong with that) Nicaraguan insurance salesman with a cast-iron skillet, standing above her.
I ran to my wife and yelled in her ear "WHO DID THIS TO YOU?" then realized that my left hand was missing, again.
She suddenly got up and flew ou the window, leaving only myself and the Nicaraguan gentleman, who had somehow climbed into the oven to check if it was still on.
I ran to the oven and pressed "Broil" when I realized that there were two of them.
I turned around only to find a cast-iron pan in my face, and everything went black.
I woke up in a vat of broccoli flavored creme fresh with only a three piece suit on and nothing else.
I climbed out of the vat and nearly fell to my death when I realized I was on the top of the Burj Dubai, which was, strangely enough, in Phnom Penh.
How I knew I was in Phnom Penh, I will never know, but what I do know is that there were fat blue spiders falling from the sky.
Wanting to get out of the spider rain, I got back into the vat of creme fresh, and realized there was a hole in the bottom.
I swam through the hole, and found myself on a flashing dance floor, but everything was black and white, like in an old movie.
I didn't know what else to do, so I did 'the worm', until these mimes with ironing boards started to climb out of the walls.
As the mimes transformed into the fat blue (they were blue, right?) spiders and tried to attack my apparent worminess, I called on my avian wife with my Norwegian mating call, and she burst through the ceiling vat.
As we teamed up to kick general spider face, the Nicaraguan insurance twins were suddenly back, and one of them was significantly more caramelized.
As we engaged in an obviously epic battle, I realized one thing. You can only take so many pictures of rocks because you go insane.
I hope that's the end of the story.
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lol my signatures always suck
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